True Power

Sunset storm over the Rockies: Photos by Noelle

Sunset storm over the Rockies: Photos by Noelle

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” Marcus Aurelius

Sunset storm over the Rockies: Photos by Noelle

Sunset storm over the Rockies: Photos by Noelle

13 thoughts on “True Power

    • Great question. We can feel the physical pain of being pricked in the finger, but choose not to feel the psychic or emotional pain of feeling we are unlucky, being punished or targeted for suffering. When we don’t attach our interpetations to events and thus elicit emotions from us, the prick of the finger is but a moment until the salve and bandaid are applied. We give meaning to the events of our lives and thus, change those events by our interpretations into stories of deeper suffering.

      When someone shouts at us, they are projecting their suffering outwards. We can again, personalize their behavior, believe we are being attacked and respond accordingly (Karma: cause and effect) or we can see their behavior as something they are actually doing to themself. Even as they say “You caused this in me”, we know this to be untrue. We are each 100% responsible for our emotional state. You are choosing anger as response to some inner pain which you aren’t communicating. Rather you are masking your pain with your anger and shouting. You are full of pain and suffering and now spewing that outward toward me. That little space of awareness of what they are doing is actually huge. Most situations remain high or escalate because we are acting and reacting over and over again to what others are doing (karma: cause and effect). If we didn’t respond when the person began yelling they would be left with their suffering. Arguments require two people. If I don’t engage you at your anger you have no one to give that anger to, and are left with it. If you are standing before someone who is yelling that is a loved one, I would say I can’t hear you when you are speaking like this and I deeply wish to hear what you have to say. So I will wait until you are no longer yelling to listen. If it’s a customer I remain silent and let them vent until the energy behind it has passed. I don’t respond to them until they have stopped yelling. I tell them I’d be delighted to help them, but I can’t help them while they are yelling. Silence is immensely powerful. I wait, silently, until the storm passes or walk away or engage support, so that this person in their suffering can do no harm to myself or others. But whatever strategy I use, I do not respond to their anger projected toward me. It belongs to them, not to me and I shall leave it with them.

      Wonderful question and thank you so much for stopping by, my friend.

      We often say respect is earned, but it actually isn’t. If I have self-respect I treat people with respect regardless who they are or how they behave because it is all that is within me. You may act in anger or manipulation, but I can set boundaries and treat you respectfully because I don’t have that anger and manipulation in me. Only give people what you want to live within you.

  1. Delighted it was useful. You may enjoy reading Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, “The Four Agreements”. Wonderful book. Helped me immensely. Blessings to your endeavors and to your weekend.

  2. Just found this section altho I tried at the first time I must have hit the wrong button. This section was more powerful than the initial meditation. I have read the Four Agreements but you put in in a very powerful and dynamic way that further enlightens me as I move through that process.

    • Love the Four Agreements. He also has another book I think called the Tree of Knowledge that I listened to a on tape two times it was so good. Also did his workbook for the 4A’s. Totally dig Don Miquel.

  3. Just to add to the above comment. I think that you are able to break down the process of each stage of enlightenment to a very fine degree so it all seems easier from your point of view. And of course, following the path brings an easier life to all of us since there is less resistance on our part to change.

    • One of my teachers once said, “Yeah, it’s tough, but now you can speak to others about it. Why do you think you came here?” Blew me away. So thank you. I think I’m getting better and better at this. I often tell friends I don’t speak anything original, I just translate really well what is already out there. All my years, I guess of working in hospitals translating medicalese into English. I bet you have some of that, too!

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